Even if you don’t like Harry Potter you’d probably enjoy The Wizarding World of Harry Potter in Orlando, Florida, because it’s engineered for good fucking times. Let me explain by comparing it to Epcot, which I visited on the third day of my epic trip.
1. Incredible attention to detail.
The Epcot version of London is olde timey ye olde shitty tea shop, awkwardly laid out footie-themed gift shop, and a Playskool castle.
The Wizard World of Harry Potter London is a grimy, layered wonderland cobbled together under Leadenhall/Borough Market-lookalike with hand-painted signs, hidden alleyways, regular rumbling Overground, and spitting mad dragon.
2. The rides.
Epcot offers the WORST rides in the WORLD. Highlights include the (original) Bush-era biodiversity boat ride around a sunbleached greenhouse and a Mexican fiesta through a deeply unsettling puppet lair.
The Wizarding World of Harry Potter rides made me freak out, but in a good way—I rode the Hogwarts one twice (yay me!). And while queues were super easy thanks to our off-season visit, the waiting in line part was THE BEST part. Because we got to see Hogwarts and Gringotts in up close, excruciating detail.
3. Booze.
Other amusement parks, bless them, sort of hide the mommyjuice because there are kids. Fucking. Everywhere.
The Wizarding World of Harry Potter sells special beers, a cider, and WHISKEY at every restaurant and bar on the premises. And people go for it.
Okay? Convinced? Still with me? Here’s how it all went down:
I roped a few friends into doing two days at Universal and a morning at Epcot during the low season (according to handy crowd calendar). The timing was key—I would never go back during high season, because it would be a total nightmare.
We stayed at the glorious Cabana Bay Beach Resort because it was the cheapest spot on the premises, but I was incredibly impressed: the theme was mid-century motel, and it WORKED.
Top to bottom it was a delight, from the authentic colors to the furniture (especially the poolside setup) and the in-room toiletries designed to look like vintage VO5 and Pert. I mean the gift shop had vintage mannequins wearing 50s shorts, guys. I was in heaven. Yes the beds were hard and the sheets scratchy, but there was a huge hot tub and we ate in the bowling alley twice. So.
The major benefit of staying on the property was getting into Hogsmeade an hour before it officially opened. That first morning, we just got up a little bit early, grabbed some delicious Vacation Starbucks™ from the lobby, slapped on SPF50, and waddled over to the park on foot.
The Wizarding World is actually split into two parks (two parks = two tickets = double the money, obvs). Hogsmeade is in the Islands of Adventure, and Diagon Alley is in Universal Studios.
This is how we did two days, and it worked perfectly:
Day 1:
Start at Hogsmeade
Do the Hogwarts ride
Eat lunch at the Three Broomsticks
Take the Express to Diagon Alley
Do the Gringotts ride
Day 2:
Start at Diagon Alley
Eat lunch at the Leaky Cauldron
Take the Express to Hogsmeade
Do the Hogwarts ride again
With some other Universal attractions sprinkled in for some variety.
So. We arrived, freaked out, and then went to get some fucking wands.
If you don’t know this about me, now you do: I’m an adult who spent $50 on an interactive magic wand, and it was worth every penny. We did the Ollivander’s experience (although I wouldn’t recommend doing it at Hogsmeade) then took a very long time browsing the wall of wands in the gift shop.
Both parks have incredibly charming semi-hidden spell spots where you can do a little swish and flick to make something change. (We discovered a bit late that the sensors—I mean uh the MAGIC—was designed for kids, so you have to keep the movements a bit tight and low.) And while many of the spells were pretty anticlimactic, there were a few that seriously took my breath away.
Thanks to the Universal app, we hit up Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey (the Hogwarts One) when there was zero line (20 minutes means no line), meaning we actually loitered in the empty castle, holding up people behind us, so we could take it all in. The lines are incredibly well-designed to keep people entertained, and the ride itself was fantastic—a swooping, exciting, goggle-enhanced thrill.
It me again. You'll notice the outfit continuity gets a little messy because we did both parks on both days to make sure we didn't miss anything.
We did lunch at the Three Broomsticks. And guess what—the food was NOT BAD. I had fish and chips and a few gallons of cider, and all was very well.
I was incredibly overcome with the Hogwarts Express—probably because I wasn’t expecting much. The line winds through a beautiful train station and leads you to the platform until—AHHHH!—the Hogwarts Express rolls up with steam billowing and people cheering. Or it may just have been me. Who's to say.
I was expecting a shitty trolley situation onboard, but you and your group actually get escorted to a private compartment and the doors LOCK and there’s a whole EXPERIENCE! It changes depending on which way you’re going, so we took it to and from Diagon Alley.
And then… and then… You disembark at King’s Cross.
And it really feels like King’s Cross. This is kind of hard to tell, but look here’s me in the real King’s Cross one hundred years ago, heading to Scotland. Notice the color of the brick and the cropped sign to the right of my little 20-year old face.
See the brick color? And the little navy sign? Not bad, right? Even the ads are gorgeous, and they squeezed a shop selling British candy and snacks next to the line.
Diagon Alley is an entirely different beast than Hogsmeade. You make your way past King’s Cross to Leicester Square (eh? Okay whatever) and then you push your way into an unmarked brick passageway. If you don’t know where you’re going, you won’t just end up in Diagon Alley. It’s pretty cool.
This is where dreams are made, folks. I spent a really long time taking pictures from the entrance because there was so much to take in and process. Everything was so lean-y and homey and real.
What you’re really there for is the wandering and looking and shopping and drinking. And we did just that.
There’s only one ride in Diagon Alley: Escape from Gringotts. It’s incredibly fun (although there’s a bit of a rollercoaster drop at the beginning), and the same waiting-in-line-is-the-best-part principle stands.
Lunch the second day was at the Leaky Cauldron, and that was even better than the Three Broomsticks.
So. My tips:
-go in low season
-download the Universal app to track the lines
-stay on the premises
-plan to eat in both parks
-plan to take the train both ways
-do the Ollivander's experience at Diagon Alley
-try all the rides you can muster
-get a wand if you like paying a lot of money for cheap thrills
And... that's it. Accio next trip.
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