Still On Sale 2

It happened again, folks.

I did my usual whizz through Urban Outfitters, determined to find the last dregs of sale and make it out before my eyes caught something actually expensive. Like, a dress over $60.

Then-- ooh! A pretty almost-Liberty patterned wrap dress with a hoodie. Intriguing! And aha on sale! Righteous.

I almost died in the fitting room. Like, literally almost died, because I started strangulating myself with a crotch that was not supposed to be sewed into a dress. That's when the laughing started. Who in her right mind would voluntarily buy the crap I was struggling to fit over my head?

When I realized it was a playsuit, I went fuck it! and tried going the other direction. After climbing into it with no less struggle, thanks to the jeans I was still wearing, there were more problems. Once the damn thing was covering my body, I had to unwind the twisted front panels and figure out how to wrap it closed.

The blurry result:

Oh dear. Yes, that is a playsuit/wrap/hoodie.

The tight wrap closure in the back creates an asslicious bubble. The mutated skort in the front gives me a pooch. Good product, Urban! Thumbs up.

One BIG side note: this jumper was only on sale because it was labeled defective. It's still full price online.

And that is how, once again, I got punked by the sale section.

Still On Sale

I'm starting a new segment over here called "Still on Sale".

Today made it about the 5th time I've gone into Topshop, grabbed something awesome off the sale rack, and then realized-- in the fitting room-- why it was still on sale.

Topshop does make a lot of ridiculous clothes, but the ones in this section will be special. These are the ones that someone didn't buy ironically or for a theme party. They just hang around on the rack and suck.

Unfortunately, my first big Whaa? moment wasn't captured on camera. I found a pretty little pink dress with butterfly sleeves. It was when I tried to fit my head through a CROTCH hole that I realized it was not a dress, but a playsuit. Hilarity ensued.

Here's the winner for today. On the rack, it looked like a floaty maxi dress with some sort of sleeve. Bingo! There were a ton on the rack. As usual, I thought I had found something that EVERYONE ELSE had somehow missed.

Oh. A see-through, hip-hugging monstrosity that splits down the front along a ruffle seam. I left my jeans on to keep the peep show to a minimum. The dress's front is shorter than the back, which also inexplicably sports a train. I'm 5'8", so there must have been intentional length added.

Excuse me, Kate Moss? There's a BIG GAPING HOLE in the front of my dress.

I looked like a kid playing dress up.