Top Shopper

Nothing to do but online window shop: clicking around Top Shop to pass the time, I find a nice pair of denim trousers (aka "jeans", to the Americans in the audience).
Well! That's rather specific! Can I only wear these high-waisted, wide-legged things if I do it your way, Top Shop? Or is it merely a suggestion?

But nothing cuts through ambivalent window shopping like this monstrosity:
They still have my size! Thank Jeebus!